The rainbow and the yellow sunshine

trust in people

2011-11-19T17:56:00.000-08:00

yesterday i thought I needed a haircut so I headed to the saloon, the same one I always go, but this time I kinda delayed this process and did cut my own hair instead resulting in a weird hair cut that i needed to live with, so yesterday was my peak point of not wanting a weird hair cut. I actually delayed this since the last incident, which happened at the same saloon. It is a unisex one, so u can expect people of the opposite sex coming in and out while you are having your hair done.

Last time a guy walked in when i was having my haircut. I hated the experience and it kinda made my neck stiff because my head was bare! I know, ironic don't you think. However, since I'm living here in kerteh and in desperate need of a haircut, nothing fancy but something that is considered a haircut, I had to go to the same hairdresser yesterday. So, I entered it with a heavy heart and at the same time, a guy also entered ,"great!" i thought, but I entered it anyway, saying InshaAllah over and over again.

So, I waited for the guy to talk to the woman chinese hairdresser but the guy insisted the hairdresser to start my hair cut and to my relief, the guy was just a contractor who was supposed to discuss some things before heading out. So, he did head out and I was with the same woman hairdresser. She said come on, sit behind there. I said " what ? you moved your spot?" she smiled and brought me to the back.

What I saw made tears well up in my eyes. She prepared a tiny but cosy spot for hair cut where there was chair and mirror and a curtain to close the view! Subhanallah! This chinese woman, had a big heart and was sensitive enough to have a hidden spot for muslim women so that women like us could keep our hijab! I just sat there speechless and had my hair done, saying Alhamdulillah over and over again, there were guys waiting outside the hidden spot to get their hair done, but of course they couldn't see me!

I guess when I entered the saloon yesterday I made a prayer and trusted the hairdresser and Allah made my path easier! I thought I could share this with you all because I think the Chinese was just so sweet and thoughtful!

Of guardian angels! ( 2 in 1 story)

2011-11-18T17:27:00.001-08:00

I think i haven't really given credit to the guardian angels topic recently, because I believe there are guardian angels around us everywhere we go, especially the ones that take care and guard the children.

INCIDENT 1,

In October, Rakin was saved ! Subhanallah! I can't even begin to describe the mercy of Allah for my family and all humans. It all began when I was pushing Daneen on a stroller and Rakin was tagging along behind me as usual and I always had him by my side all the time, within my eyesight. So there we were heading up the escalator! most malaysians do this and I am not alone. I know what a bad parent I am, pushing the stroller up the escalator like that with all warning signs glaring at my face. I know, I know and I regret this to my bones.

When we were heading up, my sister's helper was pushing the stroller as well but it was empty. So, there we were, me pushing Daneen fully strapped in her stroller and Rakin was beside me while the helper was behind me pushing up an empty stroller. I know, since I have done this a thousand ( 1000 X guilty) I was quite relaxed of guilt. Then, the unthinkable happened. Rakin sat down on the empty stroller while we were on a moving escalator! Then, she (the helper)couldn't handle it, she started agitating and looking really nervous. I couldn't do anything since i was handling Daneen in the stroller and if I stopped, i might have made things worse.

so, there I was, staring helplessly at Rakin, with tears pouring and I could see my son's eyes so hoping and in fear and it really broke my heart! but I was shouting and shouting and the words that came out did not make any sense. But my sister saw this and she screamed "tolong! tolong" Subhanallah! Alhamdulillah, when I reached the top, a boy/man in early twenties brought Rakin to me, safe and sound, and I thanked him and thanked him but he didn't replied anything but said " he's bleeding!" What my sister saw was that when he was bringing Rakin up, he was saying " Subhanallah!" I looked up at Rakin's chin and I saw blood! and later non he needed stitches for that! If the man was not a guardian angel, then I don't know who is! There are unthinkable ways Allah SWT blesses us everyday and I am sure I got my blessing that day! So please please moms and dads, don't use the stroller on the escalator! and don't be a bad parent like me!

INCIDENT 2,

This happened last nite, while I was in my normal routine cleaning up the shoes rack outside the front door and the door was left open! Daneen headed out from the bedroom and she saw me outside and made her wanna go out as well, my husband followed her and I asked my husband to let her be because she was really behaving and was just looking out and watching me clean the shoe rack. So, my husband left her like that.

As I was preoccupied cleaning the shoe rack, Daneen slipped by and headed to the road! Suddenly I looked up and didn't see her! there was a car passing with medium speed and I saw that she was almost reaching the road, so I ran and got her and she looked at me in wonder (like she thought she didn't anything wrong) ! Alhamdulillah! All's well and here I am with another episode of me being a bad parent!

What made me look up to look at her? My motherly instincts! Allah SWT has blessed mothers with this special gifts so that we can use it and be the children's guardian angels! Subhanallah!

Moral of the story for me and everybody? Keep a very close eye to your little ones!

riyaz heritage KT

2011-11-17T19:24:00.001-08:00

sorri for no update at all for a long time!!
we've been in KT for 1 week. jgn jalan2 time musim tengkujuh. kalo x, u will end up staying in the room n i even bought ping pong n played in the room, there was one or two sunny days n we hit the pool of course!

anyway, enjoying time with the kids as much as i can, i hv 2 months+ to do this. anyway when i start back my job, i know i have to embrace things as gracefully as possible n be positive! Allah will lead the way

Rakin is still obsessed with his transformers and we havent finished the transformer town yet. here's some picturama due to the long absence of updates.

renovating our house in kerteh to lend it out as fully furnished, rent will be rm 1200.

in october, rakin was fooling on the escalator in the curve and fell down and needed stitches for that, there was a man aka angel who helped him up and brought him up to me, Subhanallah! talk about guardian angels!

this is the pic when i followed my in laws to jb, ayden my nephew is sitting at far end of the table, wish i had a clearer pic of him in my phone, he's one cheeky boy!

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lovely sneakers

2011-10-02T22:15:00.001-07:00

Since I am staying at home now, i am wearing sneakers most of the time and I love them to the max! they can be worn anytime and any day.

I used to wear heels to work everyday. i dont know why but all the women were wearing them so i thought i would want that for myself too, the dress code didnt really state high heels but shoes with heels. Wearing them made me look stylish and I love shoes so it was quite an adventure. However in my experience the heels made some negative impact to my feet and body:

1) I used to slouch before but with wearing it worsened my posture
2) i had feet ache everyday coming home from work
3) I always had dead and hard skin on my soles
4) numerous blisters even wearing old shoes

So, wearing heels is a history for me now. i will stick to flats or semi flats and my sneakers! I have came across alot of mothers lately pushing their strollers with high heels! i dont know how it is comfy for them but I used to watch sex and the city where carrie used to baby sit brady for a few days and she was wearing 5 inches heels and pushing the stroller! Ok, lets face it, in reality, do we have enough time for those? Let alone wear the smallest amount of make up ! For me, if I wanna go out and have fun with the kids, the simplest attire will do. True they say, having kids kills the lust for fashion, but it creates alot of other fun! and one of the is practicality! and practicality is alot of fun! because you will have fun when you are practical compared to when you are having pain because you're in it for beauty!

So, sneakers is for me! any takers?

picturama

2011-10-01T21:39:00.001-07:00

Its candid time. I used to find taking turn bathing them was terribly tiring and when i bathed one of them, the other one screamed to enter the bathroom as well. So, to cut short the time and energy spent, I found this really huge basin to insert them both, hah mandila sendiri :)) but with observation.

Daneen likes to talk to her toy telephone when she wants to sleep, ehehehe..she keeps a pillow handy just in case she becomes tired of it. Then, eventually she will dose off. HAhah..Alhamdulillah such an easy baby she is

And this the rubbish i collected for a whole 3 days when we were away to KL. I had to use dispos since couldnt find any fine laundry service to wash the CDs, How do cope with CDs when travelling? Bollocks! I am still afraid people arent comfy with us using their washing machine for CDs, and still not sure about soaking the CDs while travelling. Any tips? please share

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Choices

2011-09-27T20:30:00.000-07:00

Now that the kids are settled down with a bottle in hand and watching G-FORCE, I finally slot in to write in here a bit.

This entry is mainly about choices I made when I was working and now. I chose to become a shopaholic!

I started to work when I was 23 until recently when decided to take 6 month leave of absence. I didnt exactly loved my job, I was not really a technical person and my real passion was not there. However, I didnt have any choice and I worked and worked. Not that my job was all that boring etc, there was some interesting real things inside it that i could relate to.

I became a mommy at 24 and i started juggling work and life. My son went to numerous baby sitters and also day cares, this was due to me being choosy? no of course. I just thought it was better for him to know other people from time to time and not being stuck inside the same day care everyday until 5. Yes, being stuck at one place and wait for me till 5 was the most guilty feeling I could have felt back then. There was some comfort in it though, Rakin had some close friends in the day care and told me about them non stop. Besides that, he became very talkative and independent. I dont entirely regret sending him to the daycare.

Life was good, but however I kinda started having a habit of buying things that i didnt need, I wasnt making like million ringgit a month but i kinda did overspend in my own budget. This habit basically turned into addiction and I kinda did approach a person in my family and poured my heart out. She was a shrink per say, so she made me list down all the things i bought. It was mostly toys! So when she visited me in my house one fine day she saw what i meant. She saw a room full of toys. Several weeks later she called me and she said I was fine but i was having this mommy guilt syndrome that i needed to deal with on my own.

Ok, I did not mention online shopping craze! I used to buy endless things for my son. However, Alhamdulillah this quite dramatically reduced after Daneen was born. The shrink told me that i was putting my guilt for not spending enough time with my kids into toys and things which was partially true because I used to buy some 100++ toys everytime i went to KL for outstation. Alhamdulillah all of these has reduced and I am beginning to enjoy my life better!

So, time passed and came 2009, 2010 and finally 2011 when Rakin fell sick, and I needed to take leave of absence to take care of him. I made a choice to not have any maid around so that I could focus on them alone, both kids. Alhamdulillah he is fine today and i never felt better. I have started spending wisely and staying at home made me realize all I wanted was to be right beside my son and daughter, so no more guilty. I know I eventually will have to return to work, but I am glad to have a chance in life to learn about Kaching ching and also bling bling and know that its not about the money money money.

Mostly choices make us who we are, but there is always time to change for the better!

little sunshine

2011-09-26T04:51:00.001-07:00

-

hah! this is the girl who likes to sit infront of the tv as soon as she 's out from the toilet. Being so cheeky and showing some skin here. she like to watch TV as close as she can and this bothers me coz im afraid she'll ruin her eyesight like me, jgnla cam mama power beribu-ribu. Anyways I heard that this isnt the case with LCD TV and are much safer for eyesight.

She likes to show emotion when there is crying scene in the TV, ahaha. I know I shouldnt have let her watch murder scene ( bad mom), but its just so funny the way she becomes scared. aahah..and she loves to cuddle, kadang2 cant do any work.

She is back using cloth diapers since the CDs were so cute and just lying there plus she has been non-comfy in dispos lately. The big bro does not want to be in diapers, but constantly asks for diapers when he wants to poop..arghhh when will this craze stop. Anyhow, Rakin is free from diapers, I know its quite late for his age but he did it. He just puts on his jeans and out we go, he hates briefs or shorts.

The thing with soaking CDs, they tend to be smelly so I gotta use softlan just to make them fluffy and smell good. I seldom use fabric softeners if it was not for CDs, i kinda never used them, so CDs do hurt my wallet a bit but alot cheaper pain than dispos, I got no dryer so I have to just pray for sunny weather :)
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how did Allah made the day?

2011-09-25T21:19:00.001-07:00

Somewhere between my cleaning and cooking this lad came to me and asked " Mcm mane Allah buat hari?"
ok, I for one, like to consider myself fully or partially aware of Islamic basic knowledge(not true though). I never knew when exactly in my life I would reach this point where a person asks me this kinda question. So, being who I am, a rather clumsy person, I took out the encyclopedia showing all the earth and moon orbit and all those astronomy stuff. Doing this, I noticed a few nods and aahhs from him, however, that didn't do the trick. That was only half of what he wanted to hear.

Then , came questions like was Allah holding his hands like this when he was making the day? or nite? Ok, I had to remind him that we are not allowed to picture Allah as physical as that. That, it was the beyond of our scope of thinking. He smiled but finally settled the issue by agreeing that Allah was the creator of all things. That, we will InsyaAllah meet Allah when we enter paradise.

The thing is, I have been receiving a lot of questions like this from him and hopefully I have played my part well( kalau tak, ajaran sesat la die nanti). :)

After learning how moon, sun and earth evolved and how day was

husband means partner

2011-09-24T10:48:00.000-07:00

this is you when we were dating

this is you now( second from the left holding Daneen)

This entry is not about how you have changed these years, its about something sweet you said to me tonight.

As I was cleaning the refrigerator today with sweat on my forehead you came and asked me this;

"bole x abang tido dulu?" remember when i you asked me what women really want?this is it, this is what i want, recognition. Childcare, child welfare, its not that you gotta do the job yourself, you just have to support it by supervising? am i right? hell yes! it felt good when you asked me if it was ok for you to sleep first, because in this statement it meant a great deal of things ( as per list below:)
1) you know its difficult since the sweeping is not done yet
2) the kids are both awake and need supervising
3) the trash is not taken out
However, it felt like summer in a bowl ( a good thing) when you asked me first if it was ok to sleep first. Thanks alot partner ! you made my entire day!! i love you ( i know how you feel about PDA on FB or blogspots but i said it anyways :)

practice what you preach

2011-09-22T00:08:00.000-07:00

I kinda did post an entry about loving your kid's mess and etc bla2. ok here's what happened to me today in the mall. As we were walking by the shops, Rakin wanted to eat so we sat down in the food court. First suap, second suap, bleghh.. there was puke coming out of Daneen. just sweet!! OMG.. what could i do, I instantly took out her shirt and threw in the bin..reflex!

What else could i do ? i didnt want to bring home a shirt smelling like puke and dont let even start about the puke on the stroller! anyway, Rakin was still eating and he decided that he wouldn't if i didnt suap him, ok now somebody else wanted to play baby. Fine, I brought Daneen and washed up her face, Rakin tagging along as usual coz he was too scared to be alone. I left the food on the table risking the waiter picking it up and cleaning after us with Rakin's food almost untouched.

So i cleaned her,and came back, Alhamdulillah rezeki the food was still there. Daneen was topless so i opened up my bag to look for a shirt, and yeay this mommy brought pants instead..hoho.. i just wrapped her with the pants and kept feeding Rakin. I knew that i needed to stay in the mall and proceed with my necessary groceries and Daneen was still topless.

So, we went to Reject shop and bought her a top and she kept crying maybe because she didn't like it?!! OMG a baby with fashion sense! anyways, Reject shop had baloon giveaways to kids and the kids got themselves each a baloon, happy however still fighting, Rakin tripped and accidently Rakin knocked down the stroller, thanks to the strap, Daneen was safe Alhamdulillah.

It was time to go home and what a great shopping experience ahaha! I could only ngucap, after all love kids mess much!! I mean who wrote that entry! hihi

of staying home

2011-09-20T20:55:00.001-07:00

It has been ages since i blogged. Raya has passsed and i havent blogged yet. hehe.
Having alot of fun recently and no time to blog about ramblings. Getting to know my children better now, I mean how to not shout and reason out. Daneen has turned 1 recently and is chirpy and happy Alhamdulillah. Loving the moment at home and to my amazement, I have bumped into my distant relatives recently, I mean the ones that i very2 seldom meet. Ok and you wanna know what was the question " Have you stopped working althogether?" Ok, stop right there. First of all, I'm on leave and second of all, how are we related again? I dont wanna be all emo core on this subject but since when staying at home for a while to take care of my son was their business? people amaze me all the time. There are some relative that you do not see or meet and they have a say about your life as if all these while they have been paying you salary. ok, enough of that, because negative people just waste my time and energy.

Rakin has this craze of wanting his hair to be like girls. I asked him why and he said short hair are just funny. and I asked him again do you want to be a girl? he said no..just the hair. Ok, I'll let it go and hope this is just a phase. Daneen on the other hand, is getting tougher and tougher, she can make faces at rakin now and show jealousy if I cuddle Rakin. For the past weeks, I have been trying to teach Rakin how to swim and to no avail. I actually have to drive them to the pool and carry them both in my arms in the water. I know he is quite scared of the water but i gotta expose him so that it'll be normal thing for him. Ok, as I was holding both kids in the water, a mat saleh passed us by and said " you got your hands full there!" and i said "I know right?" hahah.. Will try to blog more often and keep you guys posted. Apologies

D a night before turning 1

Rakin feeding Daneen

D is actually attacking R

Rakin with Rashdin's cuz

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What I have learnt

2011-08-03T23:39:00.000-07:00

1. kids dont like coffee shop, lets face it, try imagining you are a four year old, there arent many things you can in the coffee shop. kids wanna run, and try imagining the map of a child, its pretty amazing how fast it moves and switches, so sitting still and drinking coffee or any other beverage is is not a fun thing to do, the longest is 10 minutes, then they gotta run. try taking out a coffee while pushing the stroller, problem solved.

2. kids make loads of mess, yes they do. who cares bout this, try dedicating the whole house to the kids imaginations. forget great interior designs and try to live with picasso's job on the walls, everywhere!! yes you gotta blend in, to live happy with a child.

3. dont force feed them, and wait patiently even if it takes an hour to finish a bowl of rice, eventually they will finish up.

4. understand their language and funny requests, its pretty funny and exciting, you and your child can never really think the same.

5.Forget your sitcoms, watch loads of disney channels.

6. They spill bodily fluids and also milk from the milk carton, everyday!! dont freak out no matter how tired you are, its all wipe-able!! :)

7. A happy mess is better than miserable tidiness and try to love the mess your kids make, because thats their art and you gotta appreciate them.

home schooling

2011-07-27T23:09:00.001-07:00

believe it or not i have established a nap time for the kids around 330 pm. hmm at first susah sgt coz Rakin cant sleep in the afternoons.. tapi the next day he plak ajak me to go to sleep..time tu i could actually fold clothes..coz i hate simpan2 the clothes nanti akan jadi bukit mertajam

hmm..ade this whiteboard that i purchased at popular besar gak la.. so i am a teacher now for Rakin.. mmg susah sket ajar boys to read..so i use the book easy read.. there are 10 book in there.. reason boys are hard to teach is bcoz they tend to over imagine things like why in the letter cat ..t looks different from a and c. why t wants to get close to c and a..aargghhhh .. why b looks like a backward d..why a has a short tail..this and that.. so i had to become bekeng la.. hmm trying not to force him too much but dont wanna force him too little either..

Staying at home, has made me realize that maid that i had, has done really small parenting action before this.. ye lah..bukan anak dia.. so die buat cam biase je la.. i actually kurang gemar this..coz i dont want him growing up ordering his maid to make him drinks..sepah after playing with toys..this behavior will make the society reject him when he is old enuf..hmm..so this mama..whose voice is similar to kuntilanak when she is angry is taking the role now.. so in these few days.. rakin does not yell, or order me around to get his toy while he sits on the couch and he actually helps me to clean up after he plays with toys.. huhh..penat ajar sume ni..tapi berbaloi ..Alhamdulillah..and as for toilet training.. number 2 is still in the pampers..no 1 is well damned mastered..

D is less clingy now compared to last week coz the FFR worked i guess.. Alhamdulilla..now she stays longer in her cot to play with her toys while i cook. huge relief

anyways some kelakar things happened as well

Rakin : mama kenape rakin takder time raya putih tu ?
mama : what raya putih?
- he went to get our akad nikah album and i realized that i was wearing white and that meant raya puteh

Rakin : mama kenape mama gi main snow ngan badey(farideh) time mama kecik tak bwk rakin?
me : ???
he held out a photo of me n my sis when it was winter in iran and we were toddlers ahahah
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Rakin's 4th bday

2011-07-26T07:34:00.000-07:00

my son reached his 4th bday on 25th July 2011. Nothing special this year but of course the new bumble bee transformer was presented to him but this bugs me coz everytime he wants to change it to transformer, he will ask me to do it and also everytime he wants to change it to a car he will ask me again, he just loves to watch, he loves complicated toys. and on the box said 5+ so go figure!! he was thrilled that he got that kinda pressie and his palms were sweaty when he was choosing his pressie.

ok, staying at home without a maid and only the kids to myself, is not bad after all. Quite an eye opener, coz when the maid was out, Daneen showed her true color which to be carried all the time!!
I hate this so I am in the process on changing this, by using the FFR rule. Fast food rule, like when she cries, i acknowledge her distress but will take time to cater her need, so the next time, it will take longer to cater her needs, and soon she will have patience, and not scream like she does now. Allah give me strength to shape my kids the way I want. GERAM la this maids when we tell them, dont carry the kids they will do it over and over, like tanak dgr what we want. hissh.. FFR rule is basically what I have learnt which is the same applied at any fast food restaurant? U wanna know why u love to go to those places to eat? coz they repeat ur order!! not because the food they make is nice..so ok its nice sometimes. When the order is repeated, u feel secure and respected rite? same applies to kids like when they yell they want something like "I want that!" u just say the same thing " I want that" with the same gesture as her so that she knows u get her, then u take ur time giving it to her, to build her self esteem and patience. huhu.. byk cara lagi..depends on ur patience too.. Good timing to be at home, coz the maid has spoiled her .. no wonder the maid didnt have time to cook rakin his soup, coz she was handling a clingy infant ..huh

ok, enough said bout that, Rakin is fine Alhamdulillah, I am boosting his immune system with supplements and also afternoon naps which is good for the kids.. InshaAllah I will have patience and a great time raising my kids with my bare hands and mind! Go Fahimeh ..Go GO .. go to sogo hahahah

what i get

2011-07-20T09:09:00.000-07:00

Life can be hard or sometimes tricky or easy and tricky and whole lot of other combinations. I am here at home taking care of my own children and it feels like heaven. never been to heaven, i gotta say this is my heaven.

He was wearing a I love NYC shirt and he pointed at the heart shape to me and said " Ni utk mama!" ok that , will last forever .. imprinted in my heart. and oh when she calls me out " mamama" whenever she's scared means a waterfall of cash for me. So if anyone asks what do i get, I'll say i get this. This is it and that's all i need. :)

oh this and oh that

2011-07-20T03:43:00.001-07:00

pre bday cake

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kiddy smart

2011-07-18T03:34:00.001-07:00

ba : ek eleh
Rakin : mane ba belajar ek eleh? kalo mama belajar yezza dari tv

guess he found out that yezza and ek eleh were not really genuine bm.. ehehe slang only.

nenek : umah nenek air tak laju la rakin
Rakin : air slow sbb sini takder 3G eh?

guess he taught internet and air same je depends on 3G eheheh

being a full time mommy

2011-07-06T02:40:00.000-07:00

ok..im here at home starting my UL. The purpose of this is to monitor rakin. He is fine Alhamdulillah. Excited, but donno if i can handle them without nanny. Sending off nanny to sis's house coz wanna take care of them by myself, brave I must say to myself hehe.

Ok tomorrow gonna kick off cooking for the kids. Daneen doesnt have to eat reheated frozen baby food no more, they are gonna have luxuries of having a mommy around and Im gonna boost up Rakin's body defense and fatten both up with food and love. Rakin's gonna have to study ABC la a bit, so a bit of home schooling gonna be started soon,with Daneen observing of course. She's starting to say a bit like mama and non- meaning words like deda.. biba.. :)

Tomorrow gonna make kidney bean soup for Daneen. Tomorrow's gonna start Rakin's medication.

tudung n baju

2011-07-05T01:29:00.001-07:00

ok, this is cheesy ..wanna talk about my hijab and clothes styles. Actually..I love to experiment with different hijab styles. I donno how to stick one regiment.. meaning to say one style of tudung for the rest of the year..I love em all, but i get bored easily.. Mostly i suck at wearing colorful tudungs, so wherever i go, I always bring my safe tudung which is a black shawl. I bought the black shawl with an abaya actually. I do have loads of abaya but i seldom wear them. Reason? hard to handle kids in abayas.. what a crazy reason. but i gotta say i love shawls that come with abaya, mostly abayas from dubai,

But with kids, i know fashion is limited ( some people do not agree with this) but u gotta face this; ( mama rakin nak berak) ok .. u gotta jump in, role up your abayas, most arab women amazingly do this with grace, i know i will end up not doing this. Arab women love tight clothes, but they do justice to their hereafter account by wearing those for their husbands.. they have tight jeans, but they style in the comfort of their homes. Normally, they cover up all this in their abaya, tucked neatly inside, they reach their home and they open up.. and u see a sexy woman inside.. reserved..

I used to wear abaya a few times..sebenarnye best, u can hide inside an abaya, free from the world and man's lustful glares, my friend used to olah one of the incident which Nabi Mohammad (SAW) witnessed during Isra' Mikraj was that some womens were seen cutting their flesh with scissors of hell.. this is was due to the fact, she actually used to lived with wearing pretty clothes to attract the attention of men and to make herself famous. Nauzubillah..

Anyways,, I am never good pun,, i cant always wear abaya like arab girls.. because I know I have limited my life to follow west , segregating clothes according to portions, sports, office wear, office wear, siting in front of the house wear, etc.. ahaha.. i had been like this for a long time.. but i dont wanna lie that I love abaya.. i enjoy wearing it.. love it to the max..

-

tudung sarung

lycra shawl

shawl

abaya shawl

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things got better

2011-07-04T19:20:00.001-07:00

went to KL for Rakin's PCMC appointment. OK, Alhamdulillah things went great since his wound has healed properly and the doc only prescribed a three weeks antibiotics. The path in PCMC didnt find anything leading to TB, Alhamdullilah.
Anyways, went out with sis and had a blast.. Daneen and Ayra posed for the camera, and so did Rakin and Ryan. We all had some fun photoshooting the kids..the girls obeyed but didnt stay obedient for long, but Ryan cried cause i forced the tie on him.
Boss watched transformers with Rakin and on the way home, Boss told me that he was going to watch the liverpool with a bunch of his friends, its ok,, he said the place meaning the stadium is gonna be filled with men. There is no place for young mommies like me hehe..ye la tu..
anyways..dont really like football, like cooking more hehe.

Rakin's chubby face after stuffing his face with pizza..

Rakin's ala model pose

i actually taught him to pose like this

models following my instructions

daneen and ayra were the easiest models :)

awww

this is my weird face facing the sun

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Rakin's follow up at clinic zakaria???

2011-06-25T07:54:00.000-07:00

ok..
i just went if my boy's stitches were ok or not..fine the doc said it was fine and he looked perfectly fine to him..and i had to blurt it out to him that the pathology suggested it was tb on the lymph node and further investigation is being done in pcmc to find out the root cause. he is fine and i keep feeding him milk, fresh fruit and fair dosage of supplements. he said fine and bla2.. go and follow up at the pcmc, i dont do rare issue like this

the doc in pcmc called us and told us (wait a minute i called her first) and she told us rakin will be needing a 3 week dosage of tb medication because he is just very ok and wont be needing the full tb 6 month treatment. ok doc.ok ok..i know i just gotta breathe because u breathe! fine . but hope u know its actually normal if im nervous coz its my son we're dealing with .. Alhamdulillah I found him in the early stages of tb..but to add to the surprise and all the suspense.. no one is really sure if he got tb or not.. so.. when i see the doc is thursday, im gonna ask if its really tb we are dealin with..I know 3 weeks is nothing compared to 6 months.. but its still my son's body which will be enduring those chemicals.. she said oral .. so quite better than injections ..

TBC

Car seat baru yey

2011-06-19T16:56:00.001-07:00

My baby girl got herself a new car seat last Saturday! The reason was sbb kesian since she had to use her infant carrier transformed into a seat. She has actually outgrown her infant carrier. hehe.. kesian plak. Actually I have made some research prior to buying this car seat.
Thanks to Kzura since she became my inspiration on buying this car seat. I used to make grave mistakes of buying unreliable car seats, so that is why car seat abang rakin tak boleh diturunkan kepada adik daneen. because dah lunyai!! .. So i used to ask kzura where she bought her car seat, for her son hanif(i miss u) and she said anakku. I used to eye the car seat for quite some time, just enuf time before daneen could outgrow her infant career. The special features of this carseat is as per below :

1) harga( not a special feature) = 465 ..diskaun 10% --Rm 405..its not that pricey compared to other overseas brand, but has almost the same quality.
2) sits firm on the seat of your car ( does not slide or move when you make sharp turns) because it has a special lock to the seat belt.
3) can incline and decline .. to give a better position for sleeping.
4) great fabric material ( not the ones that rip of easily) and soft too!
5) comes in pink/ blue to fit the gender
6) Anakku, please pay me for this ad! I should get lifetime discount for all items ..LOL

and oh, on long distances, Rakin sits on my lap throughout the journey, the little sister has to sit in the carseat, I donno when Rakin will stop sitting on my lap, his head pressed hardly on my chest and he weighs like 18 kg! need to train him to seat on a seat,not on his mom! but boys being boys! very much manja than girls :)
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Location:Kerteh

Of Rakin's surgery follow up

2011-06-17T05:02:00.000-07:00

A week after the surgery I received a phone call from the doc saying the result is out and I'm gonna send you thru fax. I said ok and looked at the results..and once I looked at it I was breathless

the path lab interpretation came out like this : COMPATIBLE WITH TB ULCER!!!!!

Ok, I was out of space, my head was spinning and tears were streaming carelessly. I wanted to scream or pass out, but I knew I had to act fast and leave out all the drama

Called Rashdin and we packed up all our things and travelled to KL by car. we decided to make follow up and thorough check up in PCMC. So, we went to see the doc without an appointment at 9 am. She looked at us and was shocked, she double checked the path report and asked us to come back at 2 for further testing. She was being cold and strict because of TB. She even asked to bring our infant as well for TB testing.

We went in around 3 and rakin was X-rayed, ultrasouned, and went to TB skin test, and also TB blood test, they all came negative and we were all relieved for a while there, and there was no need for the infant to be tested, poor daneen if she had to do it, coz Rakin himself being a big boy cried and kicked the nurses, poor boy.. my baby!

Then, I started learning about TB in the lymph nodes and my nightmares began, called up numerous doctors I know and finally decided to take Rakin's sample and send out to PCMC to be verified by Contagious Diseases Specialist and he also said it may not be TB, and they were never 100% sure it was TB, meaning to say it could be anything from FUNGI infection or cat scratch diseases. Alot of questions are now in the air, mostly because the path report said the sample contained granuloma, giant langhan cells ..etc,but then other cells infection contain these as well and these cells formation are not specific for TB, mostly the cells are formed by the body's defence system. Rakin is well and is not complaining anything, he is infact eating more and more nowadays and he has never had a recent fever even before the surgery.

So we are now double relieved, all thanks to Allah, He has created us and has provided endless nikmat for us.. being tested like this, makes me even more grateful to Him for giving me this beautiful child .. my dear son.. and making me realize it again and again that everything belongs to Allah .. Everything that we think we own, is His, no question about.. Allah has created disease and also the cure..Subhanallah

bebel

2011-06-07T02:50:00.000-07:00

dah lame tak bebel..
a guy used to say " hey u look like you blog !" since when blogging became the same as reading? meaning to say.. as bookwormish as reading? Since blogging has been a tool for some people to pimp up themselves in a very sad sad way, that's when.. like ..oh i wore this to that..and saw this celebrity! ..

i see some people who are so in love with their looks everyday in facebook, taking poses of different angles really bores me to blood puke.. i actually encountered a caption saying " si dia taktau yg muka aku ni bole cari yg lagi hensem ?" i was all WTF and WTH when i read it.. with frequent visit to the bathroom.. and some people send loving messages to their spouses thru FB stating all "get a room " words.. or they can call cold for hating the word " other half" .. they can say i'm jealous i don care

n some people have all this albums in their photos with captions for all photos..can someone get more interesting than that ? Not mentioning some people coming back from work, before holding their baby/ wife.. autmatically open their facebook account and reading all news feed? can you let more mark z*chenberg in your life? just put a statue of him i your house and worship already..

however, sorry for saying all of this.these are real people with real lives we're talking about. i know ..being a chickenSh*t that i am , i normally apologize after scorning

Rakin's operation

2011-06-07T00:00:00.001-07:00

My dear and only son got admitted to hospital Pakar perdana kb recently. A tiny pimple size infection grew n grew almost 1 1/2 months ago. Then I decided to go seek pakar's help n we admitted him for operation to remove it. Alhamdulillah everything went well n he is recovering. I just remember it when he was being carried to the OT. I was kinda shaky n helpless.. So I prayed n prayed to avoid myself from overcrying n being a sissy. He is fine n dandy now.. Loving it Coz he is "abstained" from school for a while so that his stitches are ok . Suddenly I realize all this Nikmat that Allah has given me ..n I am grateful for million reasons... Currently the specimen is in the lab n I am anxiously waiting for the results .. InshaAllah everything is fine like the doc said.
Here's shots of him in the hospital

-

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Location:Kb

Our escape during weekend

2011-05-14T19:33:00.001-07:00

Have been escaping our home n leaving Bibik at home all by herself to enjoy boredom and no heavy work! Hihi

Just loved it when it was only the 4 of us n no other person tagging us.. Besides it was weekend n I had no work n of course I took care of kids in the hotel room..it was fun .. Us being alone I mean.. While sir went to work . All the mess n tiresome but i experienced being left alone with my kids.. With no help.. Sounds bimboish but actually I seldom took care of them by myself.. Always with bibik's help since D was born. Now as D is growing up and blossoming hehe.. N sgt2 Manja with me.. I must say I am becoming more n more relaxed n want them all to myself.. Wish I was SAHM though .. But gotta save some money first ;)
Ah the hotel room was wee bit messy but it's the one thing I learn from mother hood is that u gotta let the small things go!

Here's what happened in the room and on the way

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The names Rakin know his parents by

2011-05-09T21:06:00.001-07:00

Hasil dr interview Rakin;

Rakin panggil mama, nenek panggil mama; fahimeh, bibik panggil mama; ibu,

Rakin panggil ba, mama panggil ba; abang, Bibik panggil ba; bapak! Hehe

Then he smiled devillish

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I wanna be at home

2011-05-09T02:30:00.001-07:00

He just doesnt know how happy he would be if I stayed at home.. That is why he can't really relate to it yet
Staying at home doing my online business I mean.. The business that I donno yet ... What to sell Eh?

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Mama

2011-05-07T22:48:00.001-07:00

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Daneen dah Tak rapat ngan bibik

2011-05-07T18:17:00.001-07:00

It's the third month that my doter D is being close to me. She really wants me now that when I put on my tudung she knows I want to go out and when I hold her to bring her out, she refuses to even look at her bibik.. Haha takut Kalo setakat Tgk je.. Bibik akan amek die n she will be left at home... Hihi.. Siap pusingkan her face to her bibik pun
She still resists to look at her .. Huhu.. I think that's a very nice mother's day gift to me!!! Love u

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Kerteh

2011-05-07T01:58:00.001-07:00

My title is the same as my location.. Hihi.. How lame is that? Anyway.. What I am about say that.. Hehe .. First I have to apologize to my Sis for saying this "I love kerteh" she has been begging me to move to KL to be near her .. Hehe.. But she knows it's only my white lies when I tell her I wanna move to KL .. I love going to KL to see her.. But I dont really like KL . I want KL only for its shops.. Hihi..
Kampungishh I must say .. Please laugh all u want

I love it here mostly bcoz it has grown on me.. The beaches.. My neighbourhood.. I never knew such place existed when I first worked here.. I got married n have kids here.. Wonderful .. It's a place where u can wear a black bawal, baggy jeans, long sleeve T n flip flops ..my Fav...No issues about fashion in here.. However only recently people have been dressing up coz there's tgv n bowling here.. Before that there was nothing to brag.. Nowhere to spend our weekend.. That is why if u leave in kerteh, u gotta have a real nice suitcase Coz u gonna have to escape boredom to KL or KB on every weekend.. May I suggest samsonite?

Ok all I wanted to say is I hope I live here long enough Coz kerteh has taught me so much!!

It has really grown on me.. It loves need v

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Location:Kerteh

Rakin n me

2011-05-02T19:50:00.001-07:00

He asked for this editing Hihi

I cried that day coz terwatch something so touching kat YouTube. Then Rakin saw me n asked me " kenape mama nangis? Jgn nangis la .. Mama kan dah besar?" Hihihi
Heres pics of him goofing around

Kids at the statue of liberty huhu

D with her baa

Rakin caught my mouth's pic at a kenduri

In KL goofing around the city with rakin.. He's a great companion for his age.. Siap change the radio stations for me

Awwww couldn't resist this

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The way kids sleep

2011-04-09T23:32:00.001-07:00

Funny to capture them during this time, but they looked so peaceful n cute.

Rakin is all over the place when he sleeps but Daneen constantly looks for her pillow n makes sure her head is nicely rested on the pillow while she sleeps, or else she will cry.

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Kain pelikat ba

2011-04-03T06:25:00.001-07:00

D suke tido dlm kain pelikat ba die. Actually I lost the bb sling one day but I managed to use my husb's kain pelikat to wear D n rock her to sleep. Hehe maybe D is mmg AnAk ayah!! :)

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Blessed

2011-03-30T08:31:00.001-07:00

O Allah blessed I am, I feel the warmth in these children's embrace. I thank you endlessly for providing this feeling of Nikmat, this motherhood. I always must remind myself that ur love for your servant is greater than is a mother's love for a child.

They are ur Amanah for me to cherish.

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Location:Home

Flood

2011-03-29T01:21:00.001-07:00

Dean telah menolong Sy mengemas umah n angkatkan barang2 semua. Hati hati ye abang, kite kne cabut plag2 ni Sume. Elektrik tu!

Rakin n Daneen tido lg. Nmpk best je diorang tido. Jgn diusikla. Takut Diorang tak faham banjir tu ape. Rakin pegi ke sekolah mcm biase. Sampai je kat skolah sejuk Tgk teacher die.

Air toilet membuak terus naik ke bilik kami. Sabar2 ini semua dugaan.

Kereta dean penuh ngan air. Dicebuknye keluar perlahan2. Pada masa yg same Rakin menaiki basikal sambil bertopi Utk elak hujan Katanye.

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Location:Kerteh

Kerteh kb

2011-03-28T00:09:00.001-07:00

We always n always go to my mom's house in kb. Coz we're both from kb. We start our trip after work on Thursdays. Reach there around midnite n wake up very late on Fridays n comes Saturdays when it's time to go home.

This is us heading out

Mom who makes great meal in kb waiting for her grankids

This is her buying us famous Abe. Mi nasi

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Cuti

2011-03-26T18:55:00.001-07:00

Kalo it's cuti, Coz I take a leave and no one does, Rakin will immediately wake up and searching for me in the house. He then sees me and realizes it's my day off. Then he asks for his father but we seldom take leave together and when he realizes his dad is not home, I see pain in his eyes. But hey, I'm home .. No worries.

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Iran trip

2011-03-21T18:09:00.001-07:00

The last time we all went to Iran was 2 years ago when Rakin was 1++. so went there again from 2nd to 9th march. This time I had Two kids with me, major planning was needed to avoid any diaper/baby food shortage.

The difference this time is that my MIL was with us accompanied by my SIL too. We chose air Asia but believe me there is not much choice.

The 8 hour flight was quite long

but the kids were pretty exhausted when we arrived. Poor babies.

The reason for this short trip was to visit my dad since my dad could not visit us in Malaysia because my Granpa was very sick.

Everything went well Alhamdulillah and I did shed some manly tears when it was time to go. I will miss my grandpa.

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Date night

2011-03-21T02:05:00.001-07:00

I love to plan a date night with hubs but can't find the time. Frequent travelling n leaving to here n there . But we plan to have a movie night every week. Sounds like a plan but just hoping to meet it.
Here is our attempt to take couple photo and R attempting to squeeze in. And when he is not trying, then D is... So very few couple photos.

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Daneen sleepy blues

2011-03-20T18:53:00.001-07:00

Ok Daneen has a non clear cut sleeping pattern. She cries so loud when she tries to sleep in order to make herself tired.

There were times when she was very difficult after my confinement and I was just about to adapt to working life with two kids. So I occasionally asked the maid to rock her to sleep.

As weeks went by and I was getting more and more into my work, I was more tired and asked the maid to rock her to sleep.

Then time passed and I realized that D was so in love with our maid that whenever she saw her she would smile and giggle in joy. I was burning with motherly jealousy.

I poured my heart to my relatives and realized that they really weren't that concerned and they comforted me that it was purely fine since D was spending more time with the maid rather than me.

However, I decided to not let D spend too much time at nite with her. So I created a habit where whenever I came back from work I would take both my kids and never leave their site.

At first D was being difficult since the maid' s rocking was much different from mine. I was not trying to compete with my maid but I felt the need and urge to personally rock my child to sleep. The bonding, the love.. That is the reason.

So since I realized my mistake, I would like to tell all mothers out there to not ever take ur precious Time with your children for granted. Alhamdulillah D has been sleeping with me ever since. Loving this feeling. Insya Allah will continue this till I can.

Rakin is such a great bro and when D cries loud he would actually sing to her.. ;) his favorite song would be
" Cece ce airplane!"

Smart reader kerteh

2011-03-20T00:22:00.001-07:00

Rakin will be four this July so since Jan I registered him for smart reader. I was confident he would like the school n learn new things there.

The reason I registered him was also bcoz he was the tallest kid in his last preschool. There were some kids there that were his age but were not as tall. So I made a big mistake by thinking that my boy was ready for more serious learning.

However, since Rakin was not fully toilet trained, I made sure with the teacher that it was ok. All the teachers seemed nice and accepted Rakin. However I noticed that whenever I picked him up, the pampers that he was wearing was the same that he wore in the mornings. Meaning to say he was not trained or changed. I kept quite but at the back of my mind I was starting to get furious.

Until one day, when I picked him up there was stool in his pampers n when I washed him, he shrieked in pain n cried like nobody' s business. So I had to call the school n complain. When I confirmed with the doc, he said the burn was due to 4- 5 hours of stool contact with skin.

pic at smart reader

Until today, the teachers there think that I am to blame for rakin's lack of toilet training and on the other hand, they also think Rakin is a difficult boy and he is very old for pampers, he is just 3 for god' s sake.

The principal really did not a valid reason for doing that to Rakin. So unprofessional n she keeps insisting that I come n get back the registration fee of rm 500++. she actually believes my son's burnt skin was worth that amount .

Dear teachers n principals, if you are not interested in kids... Go open a beauty saloon or something as shallow...

Dah smpi kerteh

2011-03-19T06:19:00.001-07:00

Arrived in kerteh land of simplicity after a lloooongg working week in KL. Had a few fights with maid but settled it fast. I drove with the kids n the maid n the drive was tiring but the reward was mr suami was at home waiting..... :) so we went n ate out at tanjung restaurant

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D is cosy in her new baby wearing gear

2011-03-18T09:18:00.001-07:00

Loving this to max. Don't know the name of this style though

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Mohd shopping

2011-03-18T02:51:00.001-07:00

This boy who happens to be my baby bro is very into shopping. Sgt metro

Location:KL

I punished Rakin

2011-03-17T19:33:00.001-07:00

Last nite I punished Rakin. I'm not proud of this. We were all planning to go out n have dinner and we were all in my sis' house.

We decided to go with two cars n basically I was tired due to stress of driving in KL to work( padehal for two days je).

We decided not to tag along our maids since we were going to Chilis. So I needed to handle two kids .. My mom offered to carry Daneen but rakin was making a fuss about where he was going to sit in the car.. Suddenly I snapped since I think I got panicked bcoz Rashdin was not with me.

So I carried Rakin ( a 17 kg boy) forcefully to the house n I said "we are not going!!!" I took Daneen from my mom and I asked the rest to go without me.

So they went and I was at home with two screaming children. Daneen cried when she realized that Rakin was not planning to stop crying. So I cried too. Later on Rakin was calm and we were all calm again...but no fancy dinner for us. Later rakin asked where was everyone n I said " Rakin must sit nicely on the car or else Rakin can't go!" and he said i'm sorry very softly that it broker heart.

I learnt by this that I need to
punish him sometimes so that he will lose his tantrums a bit. But still not proud of this.

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Location:KL

R n D fight

2011-03-17T18:48:00.001-07:00

Kids love to fight.. N my kids are not left alone.. He just can't stand me holding his sister.. Tp still manage to control them with all my might ... Here is rakin n Daneen at home trying to drive each other crazy...

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Annoying quotes

2011-02-11T00:42:00.000-08:00

Dont you think i know how the dirty system works?

stop yapping at my face

Puke blood

2011-02-07T03:22:00.000-08:00

pretence gives me the desire to puke blood. When u see a decent lady who has given birth to 6 babies .. all natural birth and breastfed them.. she deserves the best ..she really does..not just pretence

pfffttt

2011-01-16T23:04:00.000-08:00

i dunno what to say ..engineering work/study is such a bore.. like i said in the morning to my husband.. on the way to work .. " i don wanna work for machines no more, i think i wanna work for people like being a teacher/ psychologist, bla2 .. crap2 " i was yapping away in the car as we were driving to our respective meetings in KL ( jarang skali dapat meeting skali in KL together) he said as a fullstop to my yappy yapparooo " You are working for mankind what, you are helping to produce oil for petrol for mankind to move and go places "

Man and Boy

2010-12-30T03:47:00.000-08:00

Am currently reading Man and Boy, a book about a man having a mid life crisis and his life falling apart as young as 30, its kinda funny and sad. Its a good book :)

Cineleisure had this huge book sale but I was not interested in all of the book, but ended up buying in kinokuniya instead with 3X the price. reason? total ignorance of money saving possibilities

Just finished reading few pages ..not yet finished

owh waaahh owh wahh

2010-12-29T04:30:00.000-08:00

Is it true that the moment your baby is born you think u have given birth to the most beautiful baby in the world? or is it just you who thinks that? All i know is that i just wanna sing " here's my daugther everyone!" or shout it to be exact. Daneen love ...Rakin love ... that is what has drunken me.. hahah

Rakin is going to Smart reader school soon..very soon this sunday second jan..and daneen baby has grown incredibly beautiful...and bright and funny .. and i go to work and pretend that i don mind a stranger bringing her up but in fact my motherhood screams and screams... I pretend that i am this woman who loves her job and pretend that I dont like being SAHM.. everybody keeps pretending until we get old..

I have realized by brutal reality that money is crap.. keep getting rid of things to buy more things ..spending my children's precious growing up time in soulless shopping complex.. emptying my soul as well as pocket..girls walking by with latest trends..me buying clothes i don really need... this has to seriously end..I am not young anymore ..I will be thirty soon though i have just reached 27 and in jan ..bam like that Im gonna be 28 ..yikessssss

I have grown out of alot of addiction before.. and i thought that having shopping problem was a minor addict ..but its worse or is equal to heroin.. heroin ...Full stop

travelling is better .. saving for holiday abroad means ..saving for months and ending up making travel agencies filthy rich..

Daneen..Rakin..mama will be a wise spender very soon..soon :D hahahaha

Tekanan

2010-11-14T05:29:00.000-08:00

Dude, do you think its glamorous to go work from 9 to 5, whats with the heels? seriously, who are you trying to impress?

why do we women nowadays have to face questions like below

" so, are u promoted yet?"

"did u get the master/phd?"

"do you wanna be manager or ..."

i just wanna be under the wings of my man.. that is what i wanna do for the time being.. and breastfeed

gomo kelate gomo

2010-11-02T23:38:00.000-07:00

its still two weeks ++ more to work

2010-10-31T01:42:00.000-07:00

pic source ? google .. whats with it? i love it coz the couple look so sweet , i think i am in lovey dovey mood.. maybe its the rain or the hormones hhahhah

OMG .. don wanna talk bout going to work yet, but i wanna be prepared mentally coz i think i might be sad a bit.. i have loved every bit of staying at home and being with my babies.. i don wanna go yet.. so gonna enjoy my time left.. however , when i go, i know i must really be smart on juggling work and life

who are u

2010-10-30T19:41:00.000-07:00

it is so scary when there are sexual predators roaming around ur neighbourhood and the police can do no s**t about it. Its as though there is no way you can be safe unless u are a menteri's wife etc and you get this weird sexual messages that insults ur womanhood. What the hell is wrong with the world today?

kemama

2010-10-29T03:31:00.000-07:00

hari tu pegi kemaman ngan rakin ok.. then he kept igt kemama instead of kemaman.. so the funny part was when he said " bila nak gi kerakin? asyik pegi kemama je!" hahahahah

mother ?

2010-10-25T22:40:00.000-07:00

pic source? google

well.. mother rhymes with martyr..:) being a mother does not stop at being a status of a woman, it is a feeling, a season, a scent ...

it is when you feel the sudden sensation in ur breasts when you are away from home and you know that she is hungry ..

it is when you are mad at her, and u feel guilty at the same time,

it is when you are in an air conditioned room at work but cant stop thinking about the preschool hot/ damp room

it is when you send him to school and make sure the teacher locks the gate

It is when you read all the surahs you know by heart when you leave him with someone you dont really trust

It is when you wake up in the middle of the nite and worry about the room temperature.. is it too cold for her? is it too hot for her ?

it is when you just gave him a wholesome breakfast and keep thinking was it nutritious enough? will he grow as fast as other kids?

It is when you scold him and you cry with him

it is when you have just scolded him and you go to work and cant really work bcoz of all the guilt

Its a whole lot of other emotional ups and downs and no significant reward

It will be rewarded in akhirat :)

For now, the reward is watch them grow .. Subhanallah

siblings

2010-10-23T18:53:00.000-07:00

i know baby..

i know u were alone last time and u had me to urself and were inseparable.. look at the bright side dear.. u have a sister now and she is just as important as u are.. i remember the morning that i left u at granny to give birth to ur little sister, u were sound asleep and i almost cried.. i know i was very happy that i was back with ur little sister .. i sometimes feel guilty that i need to hire someone to play with u now..and you know i am very selfish and i need u all to myself..i want to be the only person u play with and we know as u grow older that's not what will happen .. u will be a fine young man with loads and loads of friends.. i love you baby..you will always be mama's favourite boy in the world just as much as your sister is her favourite girl in the world..oo its a fuzzy and warm morning..

One republic

2010-10-22T05:37:00.000-07:00

i just love these guys.. i donno but they are so talented like hell.....and they have these super powerful lyrics and scary smart melody !!!! god i love them so much...

sup

2010-10-21T22:12:00.000-07:00

i donno why but i think my soups are great, and its also bcoz i know how to make soup je..bab2 tumis2..kari2..mmg fail :)

cute

2010-10-21T18:44:00.000-07:00

i know i purposely take off your mittens and socks coz i just love to see those cute little finger nails and toes and admire their perfection

daughter

2010-10-20T10:08:00.001-07:00

You're everything that's rite in a lifetime

Dear Baby

2010-10-19T21:30:00.000-07:00

baby Daneen turning bigger and bigger each day..:)

Was wondering if her name rhymes with Rakin, i think it does.. :) but when i said this to my friend she laughed " tak rhyme langsung la wei..ko ni nak panggil die daneen ke adia?" heheh i haven't decided yet..but getting there

love birds

2010-10-19T21:25:00.000-07:00

pic source : google la mane lagi

i donno if i am supposed to write bout them or not, hehe. But i can't help it coz they look so cute in this pic. what was their crime again? love? hahah.. i only wanna say..they were normal lovers..but their private affair were leaked and they did not ask for it.did they? are we to judge them for this? just thinking bout how many other stars have those kinda videos but not leaked out and they are considered noble and holy?

sambal belacan

2010-10-18T22:27:00.000-07:00

went to pasar with son and got all the chillies needed to make sambal belacan

tried to make the sambal belacan but ended up making a sambal that smells and look like everything else except sambal belacan..guess i did not have the recipe and didnt even bother to google it up.. :)

rakin was ok at first but insisted on having happy meal later.apesal la pasar tu dkt mc d ..hehe

maid of honor

2010-10-18T07:41:00.000-07:00

been hearing and meeting people who complain about their maid on small/trivial things..come on la.. ur maids are human too.. they need to be trained with respect bcoz they feel what you feel..they feel tired/ashamed/confused just like you..come on la..don expect too much from them.. kau buat la jugak sket keje umah..kalo ade maid tak semestinye ko kene paralyze

do u need wealth?

2010-10-17T04:51:00.000-07:00

a bit.. i need it just to the extent that i am comfy .. to be honest i don need designer handbags, expensive cars, jewelery, big houses.. i just need everything in modesty bcoz that is just the way i love to live.. when everyone is around and not bz!!

insomniac

2010-10-16T11:07:00.001-07:00

slowly turning into this 'i hate sleeping' woman

rakin had to poo in the shopping complex again..and i tot ok, because his dad told that it was just a tiny bit..and when we arrived at the toilet, it was oh so alot of poo!!..hmm joys ..joys

adia farts like a truck driver..sorry baby!! i had jot this sweet memory of you heheh..its so very unlady like..but that makes you ..you!!

weekend ni

2010-10-16T03:54:00.000-07:00

i donno why the hairdresser made my hair look like cow's udders n i had to alter it myself being the sadist pessimist that i am i knew i had to alter it the minute i left the saloon

Rakin accidently rolled over on Adia on the bed and she cried big time, she was ok but i think she was just shocked

the shirt that came with the mail was super tight and not definitely my size

oh i think i just bonded with my maid/nanny

i am so sleep deprived these that i am turning bonkers

had a 50 - 50 sleep last nite

2010-10-14T00:55:00.001-07:00

hey guess what.. i slept for 3 hours and it was oh so good.. i can sleep for 3 hours i guess after i have breastfed her i gave her to nanny and took her back after three hours.. i didnt feel that guilty ..i think now that.. a happy/efficient mommy is a well rested mommy huhu..

cant wait

2010-10-12T23:45:00.000-07:00

pic source..baby bjorn site
cant wait to receive the parcel since i bought this baby bjorn baby wearing gear and had to write in my super lame blog

child bearing and the role of the domestic worker

2010-10-12T23:13:00.001-07:00

How many of you have domestic workers? come on .. To me, taking care of your precious lil one is not their job well not at least during ur confinement, because during that time, its your time to bond with ur lil one, so if your lil one cries at nite, you have to suck it in and be patient, you can't easily call you domestic worker to take care of ur infant and bond with her in the middle of the nite when its quiet and calm and there is no one but the baby and the domestic work err ..

The thing is , you can't use the excuse that you have the domestic work err .. and you stop looking or holding ur child altogether.. remember, the newborn/infant/toddler/teenanger/senior citizen that you have and you call as your child, was made between the two of you .. and grew inside you... how more precious do you want it to be? just think coz these maids are not certified nannies and they certainly do not have trainings as professional nannies whatsoever ..

From when we were just married

2010-10-12T02:49:00.001-07:00

uddenly remembered the moments when we started our marriage..and and realize that now we're 4 ? Time flies and so does youth. Still I wouldn't trade anything for what we have now...it's not our anniversary but i kinda have that anniversary feeling. Funny I didn't feel like this on our last anniversary.

Personality wise, i think we kinda needed each other to compliment our lack of something2. I needed someone who was organized and he needed someone who knew how to have a little fun !! ehehhe..I donno what to say, but we went thru alot to get to this point of togetherness.. InsyaAllah kekal hingga akhir hayat and when I get old, I still will be the apple of his eyes ( of course with occasional visits to slim worl*) eheheh

Mother Hood

2010-10-11T01:35:00.000-07:00

ok this is not the uma thurman movie review. I think i am really exhausted mentally since I haven't really had a good nite's sleep for the past 25 days ++. Daneen doesn't sleep at nite and sleeps in the daylight. I can't follow her routine because I have another 3 year old. Rakin is taken care of the maid/nanny but i feel sad since I was his playmate and now he is really close to nanny. I wanna be able to give all to them, but somehow I am so much focused with Daneen. I feel guilty all the time that I am pouring all my sweat to Daneen and Rakin is getting less and less attention. That is why I am starting to go out with Rakin and leave Daneen with the nanny for a few hours. :) I am also beginning to trust her a bit but that much ok. Well, ok I know I have to trust her.

OK my breast milk is flowing nicely however I have to mix her diet with the oh so forbidden formula milk. I know, I am sad but this happened since sometimes instead of milk, there is blood coming out and the docs were afraid that constant breastfeeding can result in infection to the baby, since the blood may be dangerous. I donno what to do, tried all types of lotions/ ointment, there is blood every 3 days tops. hmm .. hoped i am not judged by other breastfeeding moms..hhaha since I didn't choose this to happen and certainly not happy this happened to me.

momma's routine

2010-10-06T22:16:00.000-07:00

i think i am beginning to get the hold of what is happening with Daneen... despite my bleeding nipple, i still breastfeed her.. and Rakin is so obsessed about the new iphone rashdin bought me as a giving birth present :)Rakin keeps asking can he select the people in tv by touching the screen..hahahah so sin chan of him.. that day die bukak camera application dlm phone tu and snapped pics of me when i was changing clothes

dear father ..dear mother.. here's my son and here's my daughter

2010-10-05T21:20:00.000-07:00

welcome to the world..dear DANEEN AHDIA ..my daughter !!
15th September 2010..1020 am
2.85 kg
almost 3 weeks before due

i love SJP

2010-07-23T23:14:00.000-07:00

pic source google
biar la org kutuk die ke ape ke.. die gorgeous giler .. n sweet..lantokle nak gune surrogate ke ape.. asalkan nak ade anak..ade org tanak ade anak pun ade..

Sujud ..Penawar bagi Placenta Previa

2010-07-23T05:13:00.001-07:00

This happened to me and I would like to share it with all mommies out there who are facing this. In my second trimester I was diagnosed with placenta previa type I-II, where the placenta of my baby was on top of cervix when scanned and it was marginal. This bothered me for 2 weeks where I had to go to specialists and check it from time to time. In my 28 week of pregnancy, I was sent to a specialist for further analysis. She confirmed my condition to be placenta previa anterior type 1. She asked me to see her again in 2 weeks. I didn't listen and went to regular clinics after that. The two clinics looked me up and saw that my condition had gone from type1 to type2. this was worse and I was already marginal. The name of the doctor was Azurawati.

She said why dont u try sujud? U sujud to Allah SWT and mintak ngan die. So I followed her advice and did what she suggested. I believed in what I was doing and when I was in my sujud position during prayers, I felt very small and powerless and prayed and prayed. HE always listens to us.. no matter what.

Finally came the day that I was supposed to have my checkup with the specialist. I was anxious and cranky. She scanned me and Alhamdulillah to my amazment, my placenta was in a very good place. Dear sisters, sujudlah..mintak ape saje.. this was my experience. This placenta previa treatment is not stated in any western books, but we as muslims have all the faith in Allah and his endless nikmat, so just believe and pray!! Thank YOU ALLAH

My husband gave all the encouragement and support and also sweet talk. He also suggested that sleeping on my right side will benefit me coz it is Sunnah nabi. Thanks to him...

baby fevers

2010-07-21T20:26:00.001-07:00

Plan bersalin kat KB InsyaAllah

Dah 30 weeks .. placenta low lying but praying hard so that everything is fine.. is packing that big2 bag for me.. rakin.. bb..hubby .. during raya n everything..

birth story..part 2

2010-07-06T04:04:00.000-07:00

My mild contraction started at 10 minutes apart and I was grinning at that moment, maybe because I was so excited to see the baby. So i called my mom and husband to wake up and get ready. My husband took his time in the toilet and I was beginning to feel anxious so I knocked a few times. Soon we were all on the road, my mom was sleepy I know that but I was high and excited. When we reached the hospital, I told the midwife I was starting to feel regular contractions. She said it was time to check my dilation. So I went up the bed and and she poked her fingers in me. It was kinda odd, but I didn't care because it was of medical reasons that she was doing that and I was aware of that. Then she announced to my mom and husband I was 1 cm dilated. huhu..just one 1 cm. Then I was escorted to a ward room where I shared the room with a food poisoning patient. it was 530 am everybody were kinda drowsy. At 630 I followed my mom to the prayer room and started praying there for about 10 minutes. Then I went back to my ward with my mom and she started looking into the contents of my bag. It was all emotional and it was superbly unique to share the moment with her. My husband had to go back to the legend resort to settle things and checkout and I let him go. My mom bought nasi lemak as energy supply and I ate, to her wonder. At about 9 am the doctor came and checked my dilation and she said I was only still 1 cm and had to stay in bed. Husband reached the hospital about 10 am and set up the laptop with Yassin so that I felt soothed. It was every hour that a nurse came in the room and my mom was feeling drowsy so she napped a bit. She took an apple that was given to me and rubbed it on my back to distract my pain. the pain got worsened and I was literally looking up the sky and reciting prayer " la Ila haIlla ha anta subhanaka inni kun tum minal zalimin" over and over again in my own thoughts and heart. About 3 pm a nurse came and checked my dilation again and I was 3 cm at that point. It was 5 or 6 pm when I was restless and restless. I held on the iron bar of my bed and cam reciting prayers. My mom was rubbing my back with an apple without fail. Then, about 11 pm that nite, I was so damned hot with pain and asked the nurse to feel my dilation again, she said I was five cm and I could go into the labor room and get an injection to help me sleep for 2 hours before the delivery. So I walked to the labor room and got injected, I remember my husband holding me and stroking my hair. Both my mom and husband were so tired catering my antics. They were exhausted with my pants and groan.It was 12 am 25 July 2010 that I got injected with sleeping/relieving drug. Soon I fell asleep and my mom was in the labor room with me and she too decided to get a nap before the baby was born. She was exhausted.My husband went to sleep in my old ward since the bed was empty. I fell asleep for a while but was awakened with the pain every 5 minutes. At that point, my hair clips, and bra was taken away from me and I only had my glasses on with the RED robe meaning I was in the labor room. RED meant labor..After the two hours was gone, I was wide awake with pain again and called the nurse to see me again. She came and I asked can she call the doctor because I thought I was dilated enough so that she could help me. It was 2 am and she came. She read the baby heart rate chart and she broke my water, my mom was the whole time with but my husband was still asleep at the other ward. I asked my mom to call him when the doctor broke my water with a procedure. So, my water bag was splashed on the floor and i think the midwives were wearing PHUA CHU KANG boots ( in my pain was actually humoring myself with these thoughts ..hahha). Then, my contraction became more intense and intense and I was 8 cm dilated all in a sudden. The doctor was poking me to make way for the baby. my feet were dangling and I couldnt control them and she kept yelling ' you can push now' and I pushed and pushed. My husband was with me on my left and my mom was with me on my rite when he came out. He was so precious that my mom let a few tears, I was speechless, he looked blue but he cried and I was head over heels.. i held him for the first time and looked into his eyes, his eyes were closed but he was crying still, I wanted to hold him longer but the nurse took him to clean him up. She came back and announced " boy 4:20 am 3.16 kg" I smiled and threw back my head on the pillow while the doctor took out his placenta and sewed my torns. I wanted to kiss her, the doctor I mean..and the midwives too. Thank You Allah.. for giving this life to me ,for me to able to love him as much as I do

birth story..part 1

2010-07-04T05:39:00.000-07:00

Once there were people who told me i was complicated and they were scared to include me in their lives, and those were th==e days. Now I am a mom, perfectly simple and I have nothing up my sleeve,well maybe some naughtiness once in a while,but they are super lame so they are not considered naughtiness at all.

Ok straight to the point. Since I will be give birth soon InsyaAllah,probably less than 2 months, maybe more, it's only fair I tell what happened the first time. Ok, I live in Kerteh as I wanna narrow it down and the only hospital I go to is 1 1/2 hours away. There was this doctor I know and her name was Sue and she gave instant relief as soon as I saw her. She asked things politely and always would lower her gaze and speak softly, I was totally comfortable with her. 3 weeks before my due date my mom came to see me and prepare me for the birth i guess, me and her had endless chats and last minute baby shopping though her fave was different, she had this thing for floral furniture or Terengganu people call it English style, hehe.. I find teribbly hillarious coz they look nothing like English style. I remember I was buying all this endless cheap baby gadgets that were not important at all by the way and they had the worst quality, I think I was not really in the know of what to buy for my baby. So, I think the only thing that worked was his crib, his clothes and mattress,other things were total junk. hahah.

2 days before the birth I was in Cherating, accompanying my husband for his training and my mom was with me. I was 38++ week at that moment. My boy was all ready I guess to pop up to the world and he was just looking so crammed in his place already, I think my womb had no place for even gas..hahha. So,I was so scared to be left alone, and I tagged along with everybody. I shared the bed with my mom and husband and I was in the middle of course. The first nite when we checked in the LEGEND was ok but the second nite it started to feel different, I can say different because I was getting restless. I remember I woke up at four and complained about the bed, the room, the floor and I was really annoyed and spoilt. So, at 5 I was beginning to feel regular contractions at about 10 minutes apart and I was sooooo happy. We were in Cherating so we were almost near to the hospital in Kuantan. When I knew I was having regular contractions, I called my mom and husband and told them it was time. My husband woke up and my mom looked all ready, I pitied her because little did she know that she was going to be in a long ride with me the next day. .... to be continued

As bright as the day

2010-06-28T08:09:00.000-07:00

u know.. typing this crap.. being on the net.. surfing nothing at all.. is all waste.. I realize I am

wasting away my precious time..

you sleep beside me.. everyday..

but i think i am wasting this away

This sweet sweet life and this happiness that is bright as the day

instead i chose to cuddle you my love

to hold those hardworking fingers and kiss the knuckles

as our child sleeps beside us and the other one kickin' ..kickin' away

this is life

this is fortune

I love u I must say

this is the kind of love that makes me forget its there

as bright as the day

nesting ?

2010-06-26T21:27:00.000-07:00

i already got my nesting instinct running wild.. rearranging rakin's room to make room for new baby alot..hehhe and then changed the wallpaper..rakin took down a scrape of it.. the only thing that is slowing me down is actually my fatigue.. waiting for the new fridge..yeay.. i am actually buying our first fridge after all these years.. the one that we used was the one my husband both during his internship training and it was already second hand..hhahah..

i am reaching my seventh month and i can say i am pretty huge .. i am also starting to feel like i am the time traveller's wife bcoz my husband disappears to his plant every so sudden often and i donoo when he comes back.. i donno what to say but nature of people's job gives us stress

evolution

2010-06-20T05:40:00.001-07:00

i have been soul searching lately and found these photos and i was amazed at how my face and my son's face keeps changing as time goes by.. my face sometimes expands and shrinks and goes back to normal shape..rakin was chubby and got slimmer as he grows..ahhah

me 6 year old

6 months after rakin was born

nine months preg with rakin.. well now i am 6++ preg with second baby and i think i am back to this state of look..huh

my face after rakin has reached his first birthday

rakin 8 months

rakin 2 year and a half

rakin 2 year 8 months

as for my boy, i still see him just the way he was born, i think only mothers see their child that way.. he still looks vurnurable just the way he was born when i was watch him sleep. can't wait to see my second baby..InsyaAllah..

bibik pros and cons

2010-05-30T05:37:00.000-07:00

Pro Cons clean house no privacy baby sit run away can control kids during shopping lazy can carry shopping items itchy/horny clean chicken/ chop items prior to cook slap kids can bring to kl and stay in sister house theft can fold clothes/ iron clothes left at home with non muhrim if going to outstation can come back home during lunch for breast feeding less privacy in small car ( can overhear conversation) can accompany during spouse outstation small baby get attached with maid doesn’t want breasfeed can go out with maid and kids if spouse wants to hang out with frens berleter kat aku ..control aku can take care of kids while mom study mengong can take rakin early from tadika so he can rest

hot climate and what u can do

2010-05-12T23:05:00.000-07:00

well,we can never wish so that it snows in here right?.. i have actually found bliss by going back to basics with this simple steps :

1. use tikar instead of ur carpet..so u can rolling them away and use tikar mengkuang je ..

2. try to sit on the floor ( imean ur tikar le ..) rather on ur sofa..

3. open up ur sliding doors and use low lying fans..

4. dress in singlets of course

5. Take regular showers

6. avoid staying up too much in ur airconditioned room because once u go out to ur living room ( if u dont have aircond in ur living room) the heat is going to slap u right in the face..

7. stay rumah kayu instead of batu ..how i wish I had a rumah kayu .. it would be sweet

p/s : i took a leave today and stayed home with Rakin and had fun with him..he started to show his neediness these days and i thought he needed me more .. and it worked,he's a happy bunny now

how i got pregnant the second time

2010-05-09T07:56:00.000-07:00

This is when I was neurotic about pregnancies and Rakin just turned 2

Well , the first one was rather easy, Alhamdulillah. After my akad, I got easily pregnant or should i say, right away. Then, when Rakin turned two, i was starting to have the urge to carry a newborn again, and i thought this time it would be easy, boy I was wrong. I waited 8 months and nothing happened. I was almost neurotic and called everyone up for their advice, and I know most of them still remember how anxious I was about it all. However, I tried and tried, with all the failed attempts and also the negative test kits. I did buy loads of test kits and I knew that it would happen. Suddenly I went thru this phase where I surrendered and started telling people I was ok with one kid.. boy .. I was a mess and crazed at all times..

Then, I decided to take the giant leap since I knew i had to try some more.. I went to see a doc and she prescribed me the hormonal pill called clomid. i was to take the pill on my second day of period, i was on my second day of period and I took it right away up to my 7th day period..and I was anxious.. When it came to the time .. when it was 3 days to my menses, I used the stick again.. I went to use in the toilet of a mall, I rather not mention the mall's name coz it would be too hillarious to some of my frens..and I checked it there coz in a sense of my broken mind, I believed if the test was negative, I didnt have to bring the sorrow home.. Alhamdulillah, in the darkness of the mall toilet, i found hope and sunlight... I was pregnant!!!!..Iwent running again to the drug store and I bought 3 more sticks and they all were positive..so, I decided to bring the joy home in a plastic bag..yippie.. I danced like a mad woman.. I called some of my frens and thanked them over2 again for their endless tips.. and I prayed hard..I was full of emotions.. so that is how I tried for my second pregnancy :)

shopping urges is a sign of madness or normal female behavior?

2010-05-09T03:40:00.000-07:00

Today I gotta say I am quite ok but I think I am having some shopping urges for the newborn. Normally it is ok to shop after I have reached my seventh month and for this time, I think I have found that online shopping is definitely a breeze. I already have the idea to sew some cotton pants ( white ) for her/him. Now that I am into being green eco friendly kinda gal, I have ordered some cloth diapers and received them through mail, hehe. I think I am really planning to be green for her/him, since I am already practicing cloth diapering with 3 year old. By the way my friend Huda gave birth to her princess and so happy for her. I will ask her how was her experience and the name probably.

That day the doc had 4D scanning of my baby. I didn’t ask for the service, however since she had the facility , I said what the hey, go on and scan my belly. When she did, it just took my breath away, I was stunned at how my little baby had grown, I could almost see her/him rib cage and face and spine and all. Alhamdulillah everything is fine and I need to pray harder each day of course for my whole family and in the meantime control my hormonal imbalances of actions hahah.

The best part of this entry is that I wanna recorded that I have experienced some regular and cool ( really cool ) kicking of the cute little baby inside that I am so happy about, huhu. It is very important to be positive throughout ur pregnancy and have regular exercise ( as for me I am doing my housework which is a lot and I should say that is one of hell of an exercise for a pregnant woman) since I have to maid whatsoever and not that I want one, I am not against it for whatever, just that at the time being, it is not for me.

sorting out rakin's things to fit the new baby

2010-05-08T04:31:00.000-07:00

I try to get the bimbo/lavish girl attitude outta my style of parenting. I have been sorting out rakin's things that look new for the new baby .. There are some milk stains though.i have soaked the clothes but the stains wont go .. since im a detergent crazed person, i tried whichever looked tough and will keep on trying because the clothes are too cute to be wasted..

Im only in my fifth month,but i am trying my best to settle things bcoz i know i will get huge and all and too tired to think..so on my 6th month, will buy the car seat maybe heheh..rakin's old bb carseat was damaged due to ignorance of housekeeping .. insects ate them..something like that

Besides, i am planning to cloth diaper my bb .. well maybe not for the first few days since i can't get up to wash all the poo..

I'm even trying to sew some pants.. i both a fabric 1 meter rm 10 and can sew 3 pants.. but for rm 10 you can only buy 1 pant.:)

Rakin is doing extremely well in his preschool and he's not sad anymore when I leave, and he waves at me like a confident boy..that it what i like to see.. next year, he is going to ANNUR .. i hope he adjusts nicely despite not being properly potty trained ..he cried that day when I pottied him..so im not gonna rush things

iron man

2010-05-08T03:33:00.001-07:00

rakin n his hearty appetite

yes i know.. he is looking more errr mature

five month pregnant face

yesterday went to watch iron man kat kuantan. I have to say, i am not allowed to watch chick flicks in the big screen anymore bcoz rashdin thinks it super lame..but i am sick and tired of ation movies especially those from comics adaptations. And then we went to eat at secret recipe and to my surprise the little guy ate alot and during the movie..he was all asleep.

love

2010-05-05T05:59:00.001-07:00

honesty

2010-05-05T05:46:00.000-07:00

You could have said it to my face.. rite to my face.. or you wanted me to see you ? i'm actually not interested in seeing you and i hope you get that soon..coz i'm tired of you not understanding.. there are a few question i wanna ask you :

" Was my ilness a joke to you ?"

" Do you know how is it being pregnant ?"

.. You can win this time or anytime you want.. coz i forgive you after all.. coz you are so lame..

and tell ur elderly truck driver fren .. stop touching people's wives bellies..or i am going to take drastic actions and you damn well know i am good at taking those kinda actions..

ok im gonna go and play with my son now.. this is such a waste of time..

cloth diaper

2010-04-25T06:46:00.000-07:00

picture source : google
im into cloth diaper and being eco frenly now..heheh my 3 year old rakin hasnt fully pottied yet.. so at nite i am having him to wear cloth diapers ..i love all shapes and sizes and i can book online..huhu

its so good and eco frenly ..for my next bb definitely gonna go green with this diapering method..yuhuuuuu..love it already .. tp u have to be rajin to be green and its not easy being green unless u are passionate..hope i will stay passionate for long ..hahah.. and let me leave u with this tot : a disposable diaper takes 500 years to fully biodegrade

baby fevers and rakin losing weight

2010-04-15T06:00:00.001-07:00

alayna

aimal

amima

eshal

I donno if i'm carrying a girl or not. i dont mind. I love both. I have picking up names but saje main2. Alot of crazy things happened recently so i need to keep myself surrounded with positive vibes.

Anyways nites are still the same.. I am approaching my fifth month and Alhamdulillah I have made it to the second trimester. What about nites? well i have to force myself to sleep to avoid any discomfort. I need the tetanus injection since I havent had it in my first time pregnancy.

Rakin has been losing weight recently, he is taller now.. but I miss the chubby him. He eats like he used to but still he doesn't really wanna eat that much .. I cook for him things he likes.. and even blended few things for him..I pack him nut to preschool and he finishes them..alot of kids are having asthma these days..rakin got the traits..but usually it is only when he sleeps, he makes moderate sounds.. InysaAllah takder ape2 la

I hope if he is skinny, he will be healthy .. amin

dalam pic ni he starting to show signs of weight loss..maybe he just going thru a phase

I have given him madu, lysine and other vitamins..mmuah my boy

susah ko tau tak?

2010-03-07T03:59:00.000-08:00

susah nak kuarkan sikit emosi dari ko utk aku

ko tanak kongsi life ngan aku

ko nak ko sendiri je

susah mintak tolong dari ko

ko buat aku cam kuli ko paham tak?

this little boy

2010-03-06T01:02:00.000-08:00

this little boy is not just my son, he has become my soulmate

whenever aku nangis die cepat ckp "mama cry ke?" he knows my sadness

he is so sensitive to my feelings that makes me realize that i have a best friend

a best friends who never gets tired of my antics

my own wings over the wings of a man

2010-03-04T02:47:00.000-08:00

i am scared to be under the wings of a man.. i want to be under it but it scares me.. it scares that the wings will not have much shelter left in them over time, that the shelter will lose its strength over time..i meant to say..
there was dream i had.. that i had a huge set of wings and my children and children's were under them all warm and cozy.. now that is my idea of wings and who should be in it..
I do not condemn women who are under the wings of their man.. In fact i find it courageous and wish them happiness and luck .. and as for me ..i still haven't found my courage to be under the wings of a man! not that i dont want to

another month coming my way

2010-02-21T01:18:00.000-08:00

this is the weird me playing futsal in 2008.. i found this last nite and laughed so hard ..look at the ball and my lack of attention.. i.m so blood group B
I donno why i held my head like that.. oh .. now i know..i definitely let the ball go again.. i donno why i look so weird in photos ..ahahah

ok i am still very much alive .. i think nuting has happened really. its just that i am getting rid of more clutters each day.. I would like to think that my baby wants me to .. anyway.. i am a hoarder.. and i will stop this practice from now on i think.. i have amazingly lost my appetite in ridicilous cheap item shopping not that i buy expensive ones .. hahah.. think i wanna stick to no nonsense mode this year.. and i think my baby wants me to ..this new baby who is now very2 small in my womb.. yes u heard it rite..womb!!i have a womb really!! when i was in form 2 i never thought i had a womb but i do .. rakin used to live in it and got out and became a man. and now this baby is in it..that's cool ..huhu.. the gift of a life is priceless..

newborn killings

2010-02-15T01:40:00.000-08:00

little babies ..Ya Allah.. please stop these cruel people.. guide us to stop these as well, place these lovely babies in Jannah and engkau lah yang maha Adil

~~The rainbow and the yellow sunshine~~

trust in people

Of guardian angels! ( 2 in 1 story)

riyaz heritage KT

lovely sneakers

picturama

Choices

little sunshine

how did Allah made the day?

husband means partner

practice what you preach

of staying home

What I have learnt

home schooling

Rakin's 4th bday

what i get

oh this and oh that

kiddy smart

being a full time mommy

tudung n baju

things got better

Rakin's follow up at clinic zakaria???

Car seat baru yey

Of Rakin's surgery follow up

bebel

Rakin's operation

Our escape during weekend

The names Rakin know his parents by

I wanna be at home

Mama

Daneen dah Tak rapat ngan bibik

Kerteh

Rakin n me

The way kids sleep

Kain pelikat ba

Blessed

Flood

Kerteh kb

Cuti

Iran trip

Date night

Daneen sleepy blues

Smart reader kerteh

Dah smpi kerteh

D is cosy in her new baby wearing gear

Mohd shopping

I punished Rakin

R n D fight

Annoying quotes

Puke blood

pfffttt

Man and Boy

owh waaahh owh wahh

Tekanan

gomo kelate gomo

its still two weeks ++ more to work

who are u

kemama

mother ?

siblings

One republic

sup

cute

daughter

Dear Baby

love birds

sambal belacan

maid of honor

do u need wealth?

insomniac

weekend ni

had a 50 - 50 sleep last nite

cant wait

child bearing and the role of the domestic worker

From when we were just married

Mother Hood

momma's routine

dear father ..dear mother.. here's my son and here's my daughter

i love SJP

Sujud ..Penawar bagi Placenta Previa

The rainbow and the yellow sunshine